No need to wait for him to grow up to talk to him about things in life. It is in early childhood that the basis of communication is laid.
Not easy to know how to approach the events of life with a child who barely speaks. But for the psychiatrist Marie-Noëlle Clément *, it is necessary to do so because it is a way to give him a full place in the family. Explanations.
Talk to your baby: Tell him everything about him
It is important to tell him concretely about everything that will change his daily life to enable him to anticipate and better cope with it. If we move, if we expect a baby (better to talk about it as soon as the pregnancy is visible), we will gradually evoke what will change for him: the positive things of course, but also the small difficulties that he can meet. But we will not tell him the same day! We must also let him express his reactions, reassuring him about his place in the family and about the love his parents will always have for him.
Name what you feel
Toddlers read the emotions on our face, hear them in our voices. If you are sad or in a bad mood, it is better to say it and not to pretend to be well, otherwise the child will not know if he should trust what he feels or the words of his parents. It is also important to reassure him: “I am sad for such a reason, but it is not because of you”. Indeed, a child tends to believe that they are responsible for everything that makes their parents happy or unhappy. No need to go into details that do not concern him so as not to invade him.
Tell the baby its origin
A child needs solid foundations to build himself: he must know where he comes from, who conceived him, gave him his name and who raises him, whatever his family situation. If he is adopted, his adoptive parents must tell him that they have desired his coming and tell him about his biological parents. It’s a good way for adults to get used to finding the words to tell him about his story. If he grew up alone with his mother, tell him that he has a father and if possible, specify his name and information about him. All children around 3 years old want to know how babies are made: a way for them to ask the question of their origin.
Avoid mixing fiction and reality
A little one is not able to sort fiction and reality. If, at the death of his grandmother, he is told that she has gone into the stars, he may be anxious to find that he does not see her in the sky. Similarly, we can tell the story of Santa Claus with a little distance: “it is said that he lives in a distant country, but I have never seen …”. This leaves the child the opportunity to believe, and to decide for himself when he no longer believes.
To know also: All that relates to the intimate, emotional or sexual life of his parents does not look at him. This is not a confidant! He does not need to know why Mom and Dad are arguing. It’s part of their story.