From sunrise to sunset, it’s often the race between work and children. Slow parenting invites you to slow down, but in what way do you already have a very tight schedule? Some very simple tips to implement everyday with Nathalie Desanti, parental coach.
It’s often a situation, a child’s word that acts as a click. A little boy who asks his mother, late to pick him up at school, if one day she will forget him forever. A little girl who sees her mother on autopilot during the preparation of dinner wonders if one day we go, by mistake, serve her kibble cat! From there, we realize that pressing pause is necessary. But if we talk more and more about “slow parenting”, putting it into practice in his daily life is another matter. “This is an everyday education for parents, said Nathalie Desanti, journalist, parent coach and author of” And one day … I decided to do the turtle “, a novel on slow-parenting, ed. Horay: “You must never let go of the game. Taken in the social and personal rhythm, we can quickly fall back into the fault. “To slow down, some simple tips can help win the cooperation of children and save time on a daily basis.
Make a checklist
Do you feel like you’re choking in your everyday life? Start by writing your feelings and what you would like to change. It is a first step towards becoming aware. “Writing black on white is already a way to make one’s choice exist, to prepare to move from intention to realization,” notes Nathalie Desanti.
Ban the word “hurry up”
“Hurry up”, “you’ll be late”, “quickly, get dressed”. By punctuating all our requests with these little words, we think we are going to pick up some precious minutes. And yet, these words are counterproductive. “Studies have shown that these terms create stress,” says the parent coach, “instead of putting in action, they are paralyzed.”
Nathalie’s tip: With the little ones, why not introduce some games? “I bet you that I am the first to put on my coat”. Kids love small competitions. With older people, we can use humor “We have an appointment at 17h, in your opinion, for you, what is the acceptable delay? 5 minutes, it seems playable to you?
Lighten up your agenda
Easier said than done? After spending a week of hell, it’s time to take stock and look back. We carefully observe his agenda from the previous week and wonder: how could we rationalize to lighten it? What could have been shifted less urgent? Could some meetings have been grouped? Once this work is done, we go to the magnifying glass the weeks to come.
Nathalie’s tip: “Trust your feelings, advises the coach. If an appointment puts you right in the ball, it’s a good indicator that something is out of place.”
Keep your phone away in the presence of children
In order to optimize his time, we all tend to read his text messages or answer his emails on his phone while the youngest does his homework or gives us a detailed account of his misadventures in the playground. “We cannot be attentive to two things at the same time, warns Nathalie Desanti. Instead of saving time, we lose because we will be forced to repeat what we did not understand well. , we have polluted the present time that we were supposed to live with his child. “
Nathalie’s tip: When the child asks us at a time when we are not available, we invite him to ask us a little later, when we can really listen to him. We can tell him: “What you say to me interests me, I prefer to talk about it when I have finished what I am doing, I will be more attentive”
Call your children by their first name
“At table children”, “we go, boys”, according to Nathalie Desanti, when we use this kind of terms, we should not be surprised to get no reaction. “In general, everyone relies on the other to leave first, says the coach. In contrast, if we call each child by his first name, it makes him become the subject of the affirmation. It is no longer drowned in the collective.”
Make the awakening a pleasant moment
If it’s the race every morning when going to school, it’s often a sign that the siblings woke up a little too well.
Nathalie’s tip: “In the morning, instead of saying” standing “, without a result, to your children, if you gave them a foot massage as a wake-up call ?, suggests Nathalie Desanti At home, when they were small it had become a ritual. ” Or why not a massage of the head? There is a simple accessory with small soft spikes, for those who do not really feel the soul of masseur.
We would tend to chase children out of the kitchen lest they slow us down. And yet, inviting them to prepare the meal can save us a lot of time and energy, while creating a real moment of exchange.
Nathalie’s trick: Just ask her to put a pinch of salt or breathe the scent of the pan to give her opinion. So, no need to interrupt in his game at dinner time. “The child is attentive, he is already in the mood and comes to the table with pleasure and without moan!”, Notes Nathalie Desanti.